Barely Jews in the News: Michael Jackson's kids

These are Michael Jackson's three children, Prince Michael I, Paris Michael Kathrine and Prince Michael II (the late King of Pop was not very creative with names).

And this is Deborah Rowe, the handsome(?) mother of Michael Jackson's two children.

Deborah is Jewish, which makes PM I and PMK (but not PM II, whose mother was supposedly an egg donor) half-Jewish.

There are many, many jokes we can make here, but we're going to respect Jackson's legacy.

For now.

Jews in the News: Hebrew on the Hardwood

It's been a busy few weeks for us at JONJ Headquarters, but we'd be remiss if we didn't mention Omri Casspi who, on Thursday night, became the first Israeli taken in the first round of the NBA Draft.

Casspi is 6 foot 9 and will be plying his trade for the Sacramento Kings. NBAdraft.net rates him as a 91, praising his scoring ability but dinging him for overall toughness.

Also they give his matzoh ball soup a solid 10, so that's all good.

December 14, 2009: Casspi is now profiled.

Profile: Asher Roth

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=576

Roth is one of the most popular searches on our website. He was also suggested by readers Miguel from California and Zach from New Jersey.

Profile: Velma Dinkley

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=574

For other paeans to the processes of JewOrNotJew.com, see Ed Koch (how to write a profile) and Stu Ungar (how to compose a Jew Score).

Jews in the News: Who Ya Gonna Call?

The fine game-blogging fellows over at Joystiq have made a fun little discovery in the new Ghostbusters game, just released for the 360, PS3, Wii, DS, PSP, PC, RCA, LMAO, KMFDM, whatever...

And we quote:

Those who follow its teachings in regards to keeping kosher – specifically by blasting a ham at a bar mitzvah in Ghostbusters – will be rewarded with an Achievement (and a Trophy, we presume) called "Kosher." It's only 10 points, but still, it's substantial.

Man, why does all the best stuff happen to Jews?

Yes, Joystiq, why? Why, indeed.

Profile: Richard Lewis

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=573

Profile: Clutch

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=572

The new G.I. Joe movie looks terrible so far. So far, I was right about The Spirit and wrong about Star Trek. We'll see where this one ends up (note from the future: it's not looking good).

In the meantime, those children of the 80's (and not you fake ones who were 8 in 1989) who are looking for a more complex re-imagining of the classic cartoon need go no further than here.

Profile: David Letterman

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=571

A few times in this space I've posted about going back to something I haven't done in a while and finding it easy to slip back into the old habits. The Fox Mulder profile, for example.

Well, I used to write a bunch of these Top Ten lists when I was in high school and picked up quite a knack for them. Yeah, that skill is lost. I spent probably two weeks struggling with the one posted above. I spent less time on my wedding vows (just kidding honey! It was a joke. For the blog. Really, I swear it. No, put the frying pan down!).

In any case, such a struggle means this will probably be the last Top Ten I ever write. I suppose that's society's loss...

Oh, and Paul Shaffer, the Robin to Dave's Batman, is Jewish. So that's something.

Letterman was suggested by readers Sofia from Florida, Bryan from Connecticut, Kiarra from Perth, Australia, and Tom from Chicago.

Schedule change

You might have noticed that the "Updated M/W/F" on top of our website is gone, and is now replaced by "Updated 4x/Week". That's right, the readers are spoken!

We're not exactly ready to switch back to profile-a-day pace, nor we're likely to ever be. But we do have a fourth profile in us, so that's 33% more weekly JONJ for you!

The new schedule is Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday.

Profile: Sara Whalen

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=570

And I always thought it was "Sarah" Whalen. Honestly, Jewish parents, how do you make the decision between "Sarah" and "Sara"?

Both are much better than "Sarai", however. Which, according to Namipedia, is "has always been rare and exotic. In the past few years that has begun to change. It is still uncommon, but increasingly fashionable." Shows what I know.

Profile: Jim Cramer

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=568

Originally, this profile was going do include a big red button which, when pressed, was going to... never got that far. I think this works even better.

Cramer was suggested by reader Dylan from New Jersey.

Profile: Mr. T

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=569

So who is the Jew on The A-Team? It's not BA Baracus. It's not Hannibal, his real name is John Smith. Face? No, his real first name is Templeton. Does that leave... Murdock???

Profile: Baruch Spinoza

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=567

Back in the nascent days of this website, a friend said we should profile Spinoza. Almost three years later, here we go. Better late than never?

Thanks to reader Dave from Dallas for the more recent suggestion.

Profile: Cloris Leachman

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=566

The picture is a tribute to Mrs. Yakov's favorite movie, of course.

Profile: Angelina Jolie

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=565

It took me close to three years, but I finally found a hook to get Angelina Jolie profiled on our website.

Thanks to the excellent 11 Points blog for the clip... specifically, the Best Jewish Movie Characters Played By Non-Jewish Actors post. A few potential profiles there.

Profile: Julius Vogel

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=563

Sometimes we like to go obscure. Sure, the last profile, Norman Jewison, is not exactly a household name... But a 19th Century Prime Minister of New Zealand?

But what a beard. No, seriously, what a beard.

Profile: Norman Jewison

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=564

Today's profile is in no way autobiographical. None. Not even a little bit.

Oh, those meshuggenah goyim! Christmas Photos

We were gonna wait until Christmas to post this... but we can't hold out for that long.


Further words are not necessary.

Oh, those meshuggenah goyim!

Profile: Kevin Costner

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=562

Yet another person we thought we'd never profile... Yet here we are. Honestly, people. If you want to make up Jewish rumors about Hollywood actors, Kevin Costner is the LAST place you want to start. Well, second to last, actually.

Top 10 Profiles: May

1. Evgeni Malkin (+2)
2. Adolf Hitler (-1)
3. Mel Gibson (-1)
4. James Franco (NEW)
5. Joseph Stalin (+1)
6. Sean Penn (-2)
7. Paula Abdul (+15)
8. Ringo Starr (-3)
9. Paul McCartney (NEW)
10. Jesus Christ (-3)