Profile: Olivia Wilde

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=1117

Yeah, that's right I watched the O.C., what of it? Well, at least for 2 seasons, anyway. After that it all went downhill. Which, considering the whole point is that it was a guilty-bottom-of the-barrel-pleasure in the first place means... Well it dropped somewhere, by Hashem.

Anyway, I'm usually firmly against co-programming our profiles to events, but coincidentally Ms. Wilde's new movie is coming out today, so there ya go. RottenTomatoes is showing a 43% as of Thursday, and since the number always drops on the Friday release day that is...not good. On the other hand, the preview seems to suggest something of a nude scene, which, if true would suggest reviews and my likelihood of ticket purchasing will show a negative correlation.

Seriously, who could have imagined a movie named "Cowboys vs. Aliens" being dumb? Oh wait...

Olivia was suggested by Chaim from NY and Dee from Canada.

Profile: John von Neumann

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=1115

Von Neumann was suggested by Leon from Israel, Sergei from Jersey City, Julius from the Philippines, and David from Hungary... Talk about an international following!

Profile: Mose Solomon

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=1116

Solomon's career average is a sparkling .375... in two games. His fielding did him in. If only they had the DH in the 20s...

(See, Yakov, I don't hate baseball. I'm indifferent towards it. But some stories are rather interesting, no?)

Profile: Kathleen Turner

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=1114

"Romancing the Stone" is great, but I gotta put "The Jewel of the Nile" near the top of the list of the most disappointing sequels of all time. After "Police Academy 2", of course.

Turner was suggested by Michael from Canada.

Profile: Haim Revivo

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=1113

Revivo also played in Turkey, which presented a rather strange sight of a Jew wearing the crescent...

Update: RIP Amy Winehouse

Amy Winehouse died today at the age of 27. Cause is of death is "unexplained".

Profile: Demi Moore

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=1112

Oh, Kabbalah, the gift that keeps on giving...

Demi was requested by Miriam from Burbank and Yogi from Australia.

Profile: Death

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=1111

Profile 1111. Now that's a quality number!

Profile: Martin Kove

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=1110

So let's see, in the Karate Kid franchise, we have John Kreese and Mike Barnes... Sigh.

Kove was suggested by returning suggesters Adam from Indiana and Jason from Vancouver.

Profile: Jason Isaacs

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=1109

According to Isaacs, he is a "Jewish man who does almost nothing Jewish in his life"...

Isaacs was suggested by Ruth from Israel, Michelle from Illinois, Chloe from New Jersey, Noga from Israel, and Linda from New Jersey.

Profile: Seymore Butts

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=1108

Oh porn profiles... We have more than we know what to do with really. After a while there's just not much left to say. They're Jewish, they're in porn, ummm, yeah. Fortunately Seymore had a little twist on the usual story, otherwise he'd be sitting in the queue with the rest of his ilk...

Butts was suggested by Ajit from Canada.

Profile: Justin Bieber

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=1106

Alas, this had to be done.

Bieber was suggested by and Ezra from Jerusalem, Mike from Canada, Lou from Tampa, Steve from New York, Johnny from New Jersey, Adam from New Jersey, Moishe from La Jolla. Seriously, all these people care enough about Justin Bieber? Sheesh.

Profile: Ray Mala

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=1107

Eskimo! Heather Duke underlined a lot of things in this copy of Moby Dick, but I believe the word Eskimo underlined all by itself, is the key to understanding Heather's pain. On the surface, Heather Duke was the vivacious young lady we all knew her to be, but her soul was in Antarctica! Freezing with the knowledge of the way fellow teenagers can be cruel, the way that parents can be unresponsive. And as she writes so eloquently in her suicide note, the way that life can suck! We'll all miss Sherwood's little Eskimo. Let's just hope she's rubbing noses with Jesus!

Jews in the News: RIP Sherwood Schwartz

Sherwood Schwartz, the legendary TV producer who created Gilligan's Island and The Brady Bunch, passed away yesterday. He was 94.

Profile: Isaak Babel

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=1105

I am actually not a big fan of Babel, his style a bit rambling for my taste. That being said, a classic of modern literature.

Babel was suggested by Tal from Iowa City... Iowa City???!!!

Profile: Seth Meyers

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=1104

I couldn't find anyplace to put it in the profile, but I'll mention it here: Seth is also a big time comic book geek, even writing a Spider-Man comic for Marvel a few years back. You might wonder how such a thing could possibly help someone's K score, but believe you this: it really, actually does...

Meyers was suggested by... a lot of people. Wow. George from Maryland, Moishe from La Jolla, Charlie from NYC, Ilaan from Toronto, Vick from San Jose, Paige from Pittsburgh, Rozzie from Oakland, Avi from Chicago, Margaret from Arizona, Jedediah from London, ON, and Christine from West Orange, NJ.

Profile: Irvin Kershner

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=1103

Kershner was a well-established director by the time Empire came along (in fact, that's why Lucas chose him), but of course, people only really remember him for Star Wars.

We figured the least we could do is propagate that myth with a Star Wars-y profile that will, in all likelihood, only serve to enrage Star Wars fans. So, ummm, yeah, what was the goal of this again?

Profile: Golbins (Warcraft)

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=1102

Joel from Cambridge, MA writes: "Could you please dispel this one for me? The goblin character in World of Warcraft is animated with a bald head and giant nose. In the game the goblins are the ones who deal in trade and money and they even speak with thick Brooklyn accents so everybody assumes the game designers made them Jewish."

We hope the profile settles it?

Profile: Marcel Duchamp

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=1101

Duchmap as a woman:


I'll refrain from further comment.

Duchamp was suggested by first-time suggester Rose from Pennsylvania. Thanks, Rose! Much appreciated.

Profile: Norman Mailer

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=1100

The 100th profile was a huge thing. The 1000th, even huger. 1100th? Somehow, the numbers have started to lose meaning...

Mailer was suggested by Jacobo from Madrid, Jesse from Vancouver, Loren from Las Vegas, and Jason from Vancouver.

Profile: Johan Neeskens

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=1099

Neeskens was suggested by Ariel from Australia, Errol from South Africa, and Felix from Jersey. Big thanks to Dave from Austin for confirming that Neeskens is not Jewish.

Profile: Lars von Trier

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=1098

Happy Fourth of July American JONJ readers! Happy, ummm, Monday everyone else!

I have not seen any of von Trier's films, but since when has a lack of knowledge of someone's work stopped us from judging them, huh? Anyway, I'm 75% sure he was joking with the Nazi stuff, but I still have zero interest in diving into the von Trier oeuvre. Maybe if he really does make that Kirsten Dunst porn film....

Von Trier was suggested by Nina from Toronto, Francis from Montreal, and Even from Norway.

Profile: Bob Nystrom

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=1097

Bob's son, Eric, is currently playing for the Minnesota Wild, making him one of NHL's few Jews...

Thanks to returning suggester Slava from Baltimore for the suggestion.

Top 10 Profiles: June

1. Kate Middleton (0)
2. Ben Affleck (0)
3. Jesus Christ (0)
4. Mel Gibson (+1)
5. Daniel Craig (+141)
6. Adolf Hitler (-2)
7. Scarlett Johansson (0)
8. Steve Jobs (+18)
9. Mel Brooks (-3)
10. Sean Penn (+2)