Recently, we got a number of emails regarding the Jew Score and verdict of Simspons' anchorman, Kent Brockman.
Paul from Toronto writes: You took away marks for Brockman appearing in church as compared to Krusty. However, Brockman also walked around sporting as big star of David necklace. Krusty would never do that.
Dan from Framingham, MA writes: I know Kent Brockman is profiled but your dead interns neglected to spot (not sure of the series #) Kent wearing a humongous chai necklace. I'd upgrade him to Jew.
Todd adds: I do not recall him showing up in any church scenes, but I do know that he was seen to wear a "chai" medallion when answering the door to his mansion. That's got to count more than a brief glimpse at a church service. I obviously need a girlfriend.
Yes you do Todd, yes you do.
First of all, we're glad that our readers are as concerned with the Jewisness of obscure fictional character as we are. But here's the thing: it's obvious to us that even though Brockman was born Jewish Kenny Brockelstein, he converted. Chai necklace? There are non-Jews who wear Jewish jewelry (here's the perfect example). And now he tries to hide his Jewishness, rare appearances of his roots be damned.
So how do we deal with the convert? Well, high I Score (4), low O score (2: raised by the necklace, actually), and the K up to us, and we're not big fans of Kent. So 4+2+2=8. As for the verdict? Well, he converted. It can't be "Jew"; it has to be "Barely" or "Borderline", and, well, he tries to hide his Jewishness. So "Barely a Jew" it is.
Sorry, dear readers.