Profile: Montgomery Burns

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=725

"What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man?"

Update: J.D. Salinger, RIP

The brilliant, disturbed, and reclusive Salinger passed away today at the age of 91.

Other JONJ profilees to die after being profiled: Marcel Marceau, Paul Newman, Bobby Fischer, and Robert Novak.

Oh, those meshuggenah goyim! Jesus Hats

It's snowing here in Jersey, which means that everyone drives 15 mph and the usual 20 minute commute takes an hour. And it also means that in front of my office building, I was greeted by a man sweeping the sidewalk, who was wearing something like this:



I tried to avoid eye contact.

Oh, those meshuggenah goyim!

Profile: Alex Borstein

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=724

I was watching TV one Saturday night, flipping the channels, and Wanda Sykes' show on FOX came up. (For those who are unaware, Wanda is the incredibly unfunny comedienne/actress who often fills the quota as the "black woman" in TV and movies. She ALMOST managed to ruin Curb Your Enthusiasm. ALMOST. Where was I?) The show started at 11 PM, which reminded me that MADtv was on at the same timeslot... Canceled, and I don't think anyone noticed.

Alex was suggested by Charles from New York.

Profile: Alfred Flatow

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=723

In 1903, Flatow started Judische Turnerschaft, a gymnastics club for Jews. And here he is (on the left) with two other gymnasts. Gotta love the moustaches.

Profile: Andrea Zuckerman

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=720

Moishe disagrees vehemently with my decision to include Donna in the list of 90210 characters who are more attractive/popular/glamorous than Andrea. Rebecca from Washington state, who suggested we profile Andrea in the first place and says "[Andrea] is a great Jewish role model," probably agrees with Moishe.

Whatever. Just because they're probably right, doesn't mean I have to listen to them...

Whatever.

Profile: King David

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=721

So now we've done Abraham, Moses, and David. What other Old Testament characters will fight for that elusive perfect score? No one is queued up right now, but you can count on us returning to butcher more Sunday school tales down the line...

Profile: Drake

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=722

What you might not know about the Grammys is that they had a Best Polka category, which was sadly discontinued this year. Sadly for Jimmy Sturr (Not a Jew, we assume) & His Orchestra, who had won the award four years running and 18 of the 24 times it was presented.

Anyway, Drake is pne of our most requested profiles ever, including Levi from New York, AJ from Ann Arbor, MI, Jory and Ben from Omaha, Jason from Pittsburgh, and Jake from Missoula, MT. (Montana!)

Profile: Chelsea Handler

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=719

All-time suggestion champ Moishe from La Jolla suggested Chelsea a while ago, but now seems as good a time as any to look into Jews on late night TV.

Profile: Caspar Weinberger

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=718

Caspar was suggested by Wlodzimierz from Copenhagen. Yes, the Copenhagen in Denmark. Global readership, FTW!

That said, it's a good thing this is a blog and not podcast, because we don't even know where to begin pronouncing Wlodzimierz.

Jews in the News: Female, Jewish Shakespeare

She is pretty much the basis of our Shakespeare profile, but the Italian/Jewish woman who some think was the author of the Bard's plays, Amelia Bassano Lanier, is the subject of this article in the Globe and Mail.

Thanks to Joe from Scranton for alerting us.

Profile: Don Garber

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=717

Sports commissioners: David Stern (NBA), Bud Selig (MLB), Gary Bettman (NHL), and Garber (MLS): all Jews.

Profile: Orlando Bloom

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=716

"Bloom" is often a Jewish last name, but this part-time pirate and elf never struck me as even remotely Jewish. For a good reason, it turns out.

Thanks to reader Bob from Illinois for the suggestion.

Profile: Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=715

With Conan O'Brien in career limbo right now, what will happen to poor Triumph?

Robert Smigel, who performs Triumph and spent over two decades writing on SNL: Jew, of course.

Big thanks to Carla from Ohio for the suggestion.

Profile: Annie Duke

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=714

Annie is one of those profiles that's been sitting around in the queue for a loooooong time. We just couldn't think of anything to write about her. While she sat around waiting for us to get creative, Brian from New Jersey and Michael from Washington DC were kind enough to remind us she that she deserved a place on our prolific little website.

The stories from the above profile, BTW, are all true. Sadly.