Thursday, January 31, 2013

Profile: Isaac Raboy

We were trying to find a Jew from North Dakota. So... Raboy spent a few months there? That's the best we can do...

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Profile: Tammy Baldwin

Suggestions by Ben from Berkley and Miriam from California.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Profile: Andrew Ryan

Can we actually get some protagonist video game Jews?

Monday, January 28, 2013

Profile: Susanna Hoffs

Suggestions by Neal from Sarasota, George from Reynoldsburg, OH, Gary from South Africa, John from Baltimore, and Jonathan from Maryland.

Friday, January 25, 2013

Profile: Sam McCullum

McCullum is yet another on the list of Jewish NFLers whose career took a downturn in Minnesota...

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Profile: Joe Weider

Weider was also a bodybuilder himself. I'll leave it up to you to find the pictures...

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Monday, January 21, 2013

Super Bowl Sunday: The Jewish Choice

As of Sunday, the Super Bowl teams are set, leaving us with just one question before the big game: Who to root for?

Obviously, if you're a Ravens or 49ers fan, the choice has been made for you. But what about the rest of us? Who should we as Jews put our significant psychological strength behind? Well don't worry, your football friends at JONJ have you well shmeared.

Let's break it down:

Jew-iest City
Baltimore, with 95,000 Jews, is tied with Montreal for the 20th-most Jewish city in the world. Not bad.
San Francisco? 13th. 210,000 resident Hebrews—more than some cities in Israel.
Niners in a landslide.
Nothing, nada, zip, zipperoonio.
Look, if you’re rooting for teams based on the number of Jewish players you’ve got bigger issues.
Art Modell, now deceased, was Jewish. He was also a despicable slime bag, unable to even fly over the state of Ohio
At least the Ravens have a Jewish, despicable, slime bag.
Signature Food
Crab. Not Kosher
Rice-a…Just kidding. Probably sourdough bread. Either that or Dim Sum.
If you think it’s sourdough, SF wins by a little, just because at least a good Jew can eat it. If you think it’s Dim Sum, SF wins by a lot.
Celebrity Fan
Michael Phelps, Not a Jew
Robin Williams, Not a Jew
Push. Basically at this point we just thank Hashem Atlanta didn’t win because then we’d be stuck with, ugh, Justin Bieber.
The last time the Ravens made the Super Bowl, they crushed my beloved Giants, starting a tailspin year where my Devils AND my Yankees also lost in their respective league finals. My totally objective opinion on the Ravens franchise? They can go fuck themselves.
Waaaaaay back on 12/3, I predicted SF to win the Super Bowl in this very blog. And if you don’t think I wrote this whole post just to point that out, you don’t know me all that well.
You’re kidding, right?

So there ya have it. We've determined that if you're Jewish, you should be rooting for the San Francisco 49ers to win the Super Bowl. And we did it in a totally rational, scientific way.

So let's go Niners! Once you have the Jews on your side, you can't lose! (now that we think about this maybe we should have pushed for the Ravens....)

Profile: Leonard Stern

Have to give props to the writer of Stern's NY Times obit.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Settling the Score: Elvis

We've been asked in the comments of this blog (and in emails) why we shifted Elvis to "Not a Jew". Well, here's an excerpt from the blog at The blog is ran by Nate Bloom, who does fantastic research.
Presley was not Jewish. Yes, some sources repeat a tall tale that Presley's third cousin told 20 years ago to a Jewish biographer of Presley. This cousin said that he and Presley shared a very remote Jewish maternal ancestor (a woman who lived in the early to mid 1800s).

This biographer did no further checking on this cousin's story. She just reported it as "fact."

A detailed check of available records, including the census, shows that this maternal ancestor was not Jewish. Presley and his parents did share a two-family house in Memphis, Tennessee with a poor Orthodox rabbi and his family in the early '50s.

I spoke to the adult daughter of this rabbi. Sadly, her father, the rabbi, died young. She was a child at the time of his death and she never talked to him about Elvis.

She told me that her mother, the rabbi's wife, and Presley's mother, Gladys, were close friends. Gladys, her mother told her, never said a word about any Jewish ancestor. Her mother said that if Gladys had any knowledge of any Jewish ancestor, the mother was sure Gladys wouldn't have hesitated to mention it.

Presley worked for the rabbi's family, doing tasks Jews were not permitted to do on the Jewish Sabbath. He did this for free. The rabbi, in turn, did things like lend Presley his record player and arrange for a summer camp trip for Presley. When Presley hit it big, he made a major donation to the rabbi's religious school.

Friday, January 18, 2013

Profile: Marc Trestman

Suggestions by Bruce from Cambridge, IL, Aaron from Chicago, Ira from Chicago, Ed from Florida(?), Mic from Illinois, Andy from Evanston, IL, and Steven from Chicago (duh).

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Jews in the News: A Jewish NFL coach

The Chicago Bears have the first Jewish NFL coach since... well, who was the last one? Marv Levy for the Bills?

The Bears hired Marc Trestman, last with Montreal of the CFL.

Profile: Milton Friedman

Suggestions by Jason from Vancouver, David from Wroclaw, Alex from Israel, Gabriel from NYC, and Max from Illinois.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Monday, January 14, 2013

Profile: Paul Ehrlich

Suggestions by Mila from Alexandria, Don from LA, and Robbie from NY.

Friday, January 11, 2013

1500 Profiles...

When we started this six and a half years ago, not in our wildest dreams did we think we would get to 1500 profiles. Heck, we didn't think we'd get to 100.

Yet somehow, we got to that 100, and then 100 more, and 100 more, and before you know it... here we are. We have our readers to thank; there is absolutely no way we could keep it going without you, dear readers! Your suggestions and feedback are the fuel of our website.

Here's to another 1500,

Yakov and Zev.

Profile: Ferdinand Magellan

Profile #1500!

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Profile: Mr. Krabs

Suggestions by Jake from Philadelphia, Theo from Vienna, and Johnny from California.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Profile: Isaac Isaacs

Suggestion by John from Australia, who says "not all Australians are like Mel Gibson". Of course, not! Some of them are like Paul Hogan...

Monday, January 7, 2013

Friday, January 4, 2013

Profile: Victor Perez

A boxing champion with the last name Perez... a TUNISIAN Jew???

Suggestion by Yosef from Israel.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Profile: Steve Ballmer

Suggestions by Bruce from LA, Greg from Seattle, Sam from Boston, and Jay from Baltimore.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Profile: Otto Herschmann

For those who missed our old schools Olympics profiles...

Les Juifs qui ne le sont pas

One of our readers, who has helped us out with a couple of tricky problems in the past, has started a French-language blog dedicated to the "Not a Jew" part of the equation. Allez!

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Profile: Irv Gikofsky

The current Channel 11 hostess is Jodi Applegate, who is married to Michael Kay -- Not a Jew, please stop asking!