Super Bowl Sunday: The Jewish Choice

As of Sunday, the Super Bowl teams are set, leaving us with just one question before the big game: Who to root for?

Obviously, if you're a Ravens or 49ers fan, the choice has been made for you. But what about the rest of us? Who should we as Jews put our significant psychological strength behind? Well don't worry, your football friends at JONJ have you well shmeared.

Let's break it down:

Category	Ravens	Niners	Verdict
Jew-iest City	Baltimore, with 95,000 Jews, is tied with Montreal for the 20th-most Jewish city in the world. Not bad.	San Francisco? 13th. 210,000 resident Hebrews—more than some cities in Israel.	Niners in a landslide.
Players	Their starting LB was Jewish for a weekend, once.	Nothing, nada, zip, zipperoonio.	Look, if you’re rooting for teams based on the number of Jewish players you’ve got bigger issues.
Owner	Art Modell, now deceased, was Jewish. He was also a despicable slime bag, unable to even fly over the state of Ohio	At least the Ravens have a Jewish, despicable, slime bag.	Ravens
Signature Food	Crab. Not Kosher	Rice-a…Just kidding. Probably sourdough bread. Either that or Dim Sum.	If you think it’s sourdough, SF wins by a little, just because at least a good Jew can eat it. If you think it’s Dim Sum, SF wins by a lot.
Celebrity Fan	Michael Phelps, Not a Jew	Robin Williams, Not a Jew	Push. Basically at this point we just thank Hashem Atlanta didn’t win because then we’d be stuck with, ugh, Justin Bieber.
Bias	The last time the Ravens made the Super Bowl, they crushed my beloved Giants, starting a tailspin year where my Devils AND my Yankees also lost in their respective league finals. My totally objective opinion on the Ravens franchise? They can go fuck themselves.	Waaaaaay back on 12/3, I predicted SF to win the Super Bowl in this very blog. And if you don’t think I wrote this whole post just to point that out, you don’t know me all that well.	You’re kidding, right?

So there ya have it. We've determined that if you're Jewish, you should be rooting for the San Francisco 49ers to win the Super Bowl. And we did it in a totally rational, scientific way.

So let's go Niners! Once you have the Jews on your side, you can't lose! (now that we think about this maybe we should have pushed for the Ravens....)