Monday, April 30, 2012

Profile: George Young

Seriously, go look it up. There's absolutely no reason whatsoever given for why the National Jewish Sports Hall of Fame gives away the George Young award every year. OH, they explain what made George Young so great—and as a die hard Giants fan far be it from me to disagree—but why the ties to Jews?

Apparently it was supposed to be self-evident. Yeah, not so much...

Friday, April 27, 2012

Settling the Score: Count von Count

Of all our profiles, Count von Count seems to be one of the most controversial. Surely, we couldn't find a way for him to be Jewish?

And now, there is some damning evidence from a commenter. Here is a Youtube video of the Count wearing what definitely looks like a yarmulke:

And here's a screenshot:

So... We're a bit taken aback, obviously. Nevertheless, the supposed yarmulke only appears in the Count's flashback (he's remembering his first day of school), and he doesn't wear it otherwise. We'd even venture a guess that it's supposed to represent some kind of a traditional child's outfit, not necessarily Jewish.

Or maybe we should just give up and proclaim him a Jew?

Profile: Gary Ross

It was tempting to profile Jennifer Lawrence, whose mother's maiden name is Koch... But it looks like a goyishe Koch to us.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Profile: Howard Wolowitz

Speaking of twats....

Oh we kid. Sort of.

Suggested by Alex from Germany, Elana from New Jersey, Marion from North Carolina, and Joel from London.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Profile: Madeline Kahn

The Teutonic twat???

Suggestions from Jason from Vancouver, Leah from San Francisco, Fred from Colorado, Elliott from Framingham, MA, and Don from Los Angeles.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Profile: Dutch Schultz

Some profiles just write themselves...

Thanks to Mark from Washington for the suggestion.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Profile: Peter Sellers

Sellers was suggested by... Oh boy. This might be a record.

Matthew from Japan, Dave from California, Miriam from Israel, Daniel from Germany, Adrian from Romania, Lisbet from Vancouver, Geoffrey from Kentucky, Scott from California, Noga from Israel, Francesco from Italy, Ben from London, R. from Seattle, Leonard from Chapel Hill, NC, Roger from Summit, NJ, Chris from Texas, Lisa from Prescott, AZ, Lawrence from Houston, Bruce from Hayward, CA, George from Portland, OR, Jason from Vancouver, Penny from New York, William from Atlanta, Liz from Lexington, MA, Yaakov from Jerusalem, Valerie from Ontario, Jesse from Bristow, VA, Benjamin from Canada, and Vicecat from New York. Wow.

Friday, April 20, 2012

Profile: Timberland

Timberland was listed as one of the most religious companies in the country because they refuse to use Asian (read: slave) labor to make their products and ownership attributes this to the golden rule and other Jewish philosophies.

Ummmmm, yeah. That doesn't make them uber-Jewish -- just good human beings. Compared to, say, Chik-Fil-A who won't open on Sundays or Wal-Mart who says their employees don't have to give you a prescription they are morally opposed to? Timberland insisting you treating people like, y'know, people doesn't strike us as hardcore G-d lovin'.

These guys, on the other hand...

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Profile: Emile Berliner

Stupid Thomas Edison, always getting all the credit...

Another suggestion by Mila from Alexandria.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Profile: Zecharia Sitchin

Yes, some people believe that "Stargate" was real... Not sure how MacGuyver fits in, however.

Thanks to David from Chicago for the suggestion.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Profile: The Vikings

It didn't take much thinking to look at a profile entitled "Vikings" and have today's scenario pop into my head. Sure it's leaning on easy stereotypes and oft told jokes, but that doesn't make it any less funny to me. So there.

As for those "other" Vikings, they're owned by the Jewish Zigi Wilf so maybe they're Tribe members, too? Maybe?

We'll wait to see how Adrian Peterson's knee heals before making a final judgement.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Profile: Ian Gomez

Gomez can currently be seen on "Cougar Town".

Suggestion by Peter from De Pere, WI.

Friday, April 13, 2012

Profile: Saul Alinsky

Reader Mark from New York informs us that Playboy centerfold Ellen Michaels is Jewish as well. Pure coincidence (she really was the centerfold in the magazine with the Alinsky article), but a coincidence we love!

We'll leave the search for her photos to our readers.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Profile: George Zimmerman

Originally, we weren't gonna deal with this, but enough people asked: Anna from Evanston, IL, Wooldor from Houston, Don from Arizona, Moishe from La Jolla, David from Long Island, and Ed from Bellmore, NY.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Profile: Hottabych

Hottabych was suggested by our interviewer in the piece.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Profile: Rachel Zoe

When Rachel Zoe was first suggested, I confused her with Rachel Ray... Who is not Jewish.

Suggestions by Adi from Palo Alto, Mila from Alexandria, and Karen from Philadelphia.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Profile: Fred Flintstone

Now, if he was a FlintSTEIN...

Suggestions by Marshall from Columbus, Jordan from California, Rich from Bethesda, MD, and James from North Carolina.

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Update: RIP Mike Wallace

Mike Wallace, the famed journalist, passed away yesterday. He was 93.

Friday, April 6, 2012

Profile: Hillel the Elder

Yakov wants everyone to know that he doesn't agree with my assessment of the Hillel Sandwich, especially when it's made with haroset. I say, balderdash!

Thanks to Shane from Claremont, NH for the suggestion.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Profile: Doctor Who

Yes, we know the correct name is "The Doctor", not "Doctor Who", but... whatever.

Suggestions by Sam from New Zealand, Naomi from Lawn Guylindt, NY, and David from Old Bethpage, NY.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Profile: Zalman King

The NY Times obit... For those who are... ahem, curious about his work.

Yet another suggestion from Jason from Vancouver.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Profile: Richard Rodgers

Originally, this was gonna be a profile of Rodgers and Hammerstein, but you really can't bulk them together, since Hammerstein was raised Christian.

Yet another suggestion from Bruce from Cambridge, IL, as well as Esther from Forest Hills, NY.

Monday, April 2, 2012

Profle: Suzyn Waldman

We have a bunch of requests to profile another Yankees broadcaster, Michael Kay. But he is not Jewish... So Yakov went with Suzyn instead.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Profile: Ted Danson

What's this? A profile on a Sunday? But why???????????

Ted's Jew Score breakdown is 0/1/4, for those wondering.

Top 10 Profiles: March

1. Ben Affleck (0)
2. Jesus Christ (+1)
3. Adolf Hitler (+3)
4. Mel Gibson (-1)
5. Mikhail Prokhorov (+5)
6. Joseph Stalin (+8)
7. Charlie Chaplin (0)
8. Alanis Morissette (NEW)
9. Scarlett Johansson (-5)
10. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (+6)