Weird Search: January 7

DONNY DEUTSCH: We should all be Christian?

ANN COULTER: Yes. Would you like to come to church with me, Donny?

DEUTSCH: So I should not be a Jew, I should be a Christian, and this would be a better place? We should just throw Judaism away and we should all be Christians, then, or —

COULTER: Yeah.

DEUTSCH: Really?

COULTER: Do you know what Christianity is? We believe your religion, but you have to obey.

DEUTSCH: No, no, no, but I mean —

COULTER: We have the fast-track program. No, we think — we just want Jews to be perfected, as they say.

DEUTSCH: Wow, you didn't really say that, did you?

COULTER: Yes. That is what Christianity is. We believe the Old Testament, but ours is more like Federal Express. You have to obey laws.

Ann Coulter.

Not a Jew.

Donny Deutsch (Deutsch!), on the other hand, is.

Update: Franken finally wins! (Or does he?)

When I wrote this profile for Election Day, I said "it's anyone guess who [Coleman or Franken] will be declared the winner tonight". Well, two months have passed, and we have a winner! Al Franken is now a Senator (of course, as we noted in the profile, no matter who the winner was, the Jew tally in the Senate would have stayed the same).

Wait, wait, Coleman is suing? Oh boy.

Profile: Jim Rome

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=434

Just to cover off on Around the Horn, Tony Reali (aka, Statboy), Woody Paige, Tim Cowlishaw, Jay Mariotti and Bob Ryan: Not Jews. Not that being Jewish makes your show watchable, as shown in the figure above.

Weird Search: January 6

Larry David might have written a screenplay about him, but...

Ponce de Leon.

Not a Jew.

We will address the subject of Jewish explorers at some point, however.

Profile: Mandy Moore

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=433

I've been wanting to do profile Mandy Moore for a while now, and just couldn't find a hook... Until that fortunate quote surfaced.

Weird Search: January 5

We usually like for Weird Searches to span across various walks of life. Look at the last few: Morgan Freeman, Vladimir Putin, the Little Mermaid, Bruce Lee, Paula Jones, George Washington...

But today, even though we selected Putin just two days ago, we can't help but go with...

Leonid Brezhnev.

Not a Jew.

And the eyebrows. Oh, the eyebrows.

Profile: J. J. Putz

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=432

I think we should have a competition: post your best New York Post style headline for poor, poor J.J.. For those of you who've never seen it, the Post is famous for it's ridiculous, inappropriate, shock value headlines. Here's a list with some examples, both from the Post and their competition, the Daily News.

In other words, this signing is their wet dream. So go ahead and use the comments below to give us your best. It can be about the signing or perhaps some future event. My two favorites are: Putz Blows World Series and the minimalist PUTZ! (see below)



Good times....

Weird Search: January 4

Morgan Freeman.

Not a Jew.

Not much else to say here...

Profile: Judd Apatow

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=431

This profile was written on the way back from the video store after renting "Step Brothers"...

Weird Search: January 3

No Jew would EVER have a 95% approval rate in Russia.

Vladimir Putin.

Not a Jew.

Even a 15% rate would be pushing it.

Profile: Art Shamsky

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=430

As soon as I told people about JONJ a lot of my Mets fan friends and co-workers demanded we profile Shamsky. Of course, I waited until AFTER the sex scandal came out to profile him. Whether that's good timing or bad depends on the perspective, I guess.

(Note: I vote good)

Weird Search: January 2

The Little Mermaid.

Not a Jew.

Let's see... Disney princesses. There is a blond, a brunette, an Arab, a Native American, a Chinese, and a half-fish. A black one is coming on board soon. Isn't it time for a Jewish one?

Profile: Mark Cuban

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=429

Yeah, I know, I thought Cuban was an idiot too until I heard an interview with him and was really impressed by his intelligence and passion for the game. Now I'm hoping MLB gets off their high horse and lets him buy the Cubs. Think of it this way, it'll be much harder for him to run out on the field with those high, ivy covered walls.

Also, not 100% sure, but I think my Dad actually suggested this one. If so, well, thanks Dad!

Weird Search: January 1

Bruce Lee.

Not a Jew.

He would, however, make a good profile on GermanOrNotGerman.com.

Top 10 Profiles: December

1. Mel Gibson (+3)
2. Adolf Hitler (+1)
3. Abraham Lincoln (-2)
4. Scarlett Johansson (+2)
5. Robert De Niro (0)
6. Tina Fey (+2)
7. David Beckham (+3)
8. Madonna (+5)
9. Jesus Christ (-2)
10. Sean Penn (+29)