Profile: Johnny Klebitz

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=496

I have a love/hate relationship with the Grand Theft Auto series in that I really want to love it, but can't make myself not hate it.

There are few series that move the world of gaming forward like GTA. The open world concept (and their evolution of how to tell stories within that framework) is the kind of innovative thinking and execution that gets me all giddy about the future of my chosen hobby.

Yet whenever I sit down to play one of them, I never last past the first few hours of gameplay. Maybe it's the setting -- while I understand that many are entranced by the idea of a life of crime, it's never had much of a hold on my own irrepressible imagination. On the other hand, maybe it's because the series' storytelling has yet to graduate from the intelligence level of a 14 year old boy, still sparked into an explosion of laughter by high level concepts like "boobies."

Certainly, having a lead character with such a creative and well thought out nickname like "The Jew" belies the fact that that particular weakness is still ongoing.

Weird Search: March 10

More often that not, when these searches appear, we just pick the weirdest one and post it here. Eminem, Dave Chappelle, Gorby, John Wayne... No need to check and make sure they're Jewish.

But in this case, we checked. And checked some more. And made sure she's not. Lots and lots of searches. Just to make sure we're not making a mistake, ya know.

Cindy Crawford.

Not a Jew.

JONJ Recommends: Coraline

We're really big Neil Gaiman fans here at JONJ. American Gods and Stardust are terrific. And Yakov will vouch for The Sandman.

I read Coraline last year, and loved it. A modern-day Alice in Wonderland... and I love Alice, so much so that I spent weeks trying to find a Jewish link in it, failed, and went and profiled Humpty-Dumpty anyway. (Wait, what's with all these "love"s? That doesn't sound like me at all.)

Well, the movie is as good. There are some changes to the book... the story is moved from England to Oregon, and Coraline now has a friend, Wybie, but these changes are minor and do not do anything to harm the movie (as opposed to... well, we'll deal with it in JONJ Does Not Recommend later).

So, what else can we say? The story is great, the animation is good, it's scary, and wonderful, and there are dancing mice... Go see it if you have the chance.

JONJ Rating: 4½ / 5.

Profile: Matthew Broderick

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=497

"Yentappeal". I like this term. This is not the last you've seen of it, that's for sure.

Weird Search: March 9

Danny DeVito.

Not a Jew.

Well... except, he is married to a Jew. So, although, it's pretty obvious that Danny is not a Jew, we could, in theory, profile him at some point.

Still, doesn't make this search any less weird.

Profile: Bess Myerson

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=495

Shoplifting? Big deal! That can't even compare to a recent Miss USA, Tara Connor... Not a Jew.

Bess was suggested by reader Stan from New York.

Update: The Mystery of the Batwoman

Back in December we wrote about the various minority reboots currently residing in the DC Universe. Since then, Latino Blue Beetle's comic--the last of the group to survive--has been cancelled, though he's been very prominent and well written in the (recommended) Batman: Brave and the Bold cartoon series. Black Firestorm has been added to the roster of the Justice League of America and appears there semi-regularly. Asian Atom has been relegated to 1-panel cameos in majore events. He was last seen contemplating a name change. Interestingly, the only B-hero reboot that is being redacted is the one they left as caucasian: Aquaman.

That leaves Jewish, lesbian Batwoman and--wouldn't you know it?--she's doing quite well for herself. A few weeks ago, at the NYC Comic Con, DC announced that Detective Comics would become Batwoman's title as part of a massive reshuffling of the Batman books. Whether this will be any good or not is, at best, up for debate, though they did pick the right writer, the ever-talented, noir master Greg Rucka (not a Jew).

We'll see how long this lasts (guess: not long), but it is exciting that a Jewish character (admittedly a mediocre one thus far) will be getting her own book. We'll be rooting for her and the inevitable upcoming Chanukah issue where she fights a golem.

When her first issue of Detective appears later this year, we'll post a review.

Weird Search: March 8

Just look into those cold dead eyes.

Rutger Hauer.

Not a Jew.

Profile: Mama Cass

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=494

The remaining Mamas and Papas—Denny Doherty, John Phillips and Michelle Phillips—are all not Jews.

Sadly, the days when Behind the Music can be readily found on cable have since passed. But, one day, if you're flipping channels and The Mamas and The Papas episode is on (somehow), it's a must watch.

Weird Serch: March 7

Trying to stop myself from going on an anti-LOTR rant...

Gandalf.

Not a Jew.

Oh, those meshuggenah... Jews?!

We get hate mail sometimes. Shocker, I know. Picture the most likely responses to a site such as ours and, pretty much, those are the ones we get. Personally, I consider it the price of doing business.

Anyway, one running theme is when we pick on people for pushing their Christianity (Say, Kurt Warner, to name a completely hypothetical person we've received a letter about), we get angry letters. "You wouldn't beat up on Jews for that," they snarl (usually with more typos than I'm willing to abide in my own writing).

And that's the thing, actually, we would. We do. One of the big things about Judaism that people from other, more missionary driven religions don't seem to understand is that we don't sell our religion. Ever. Advertising is verboten (which is surprising considering how many of us are actually IN advertising).

So when I was listening to the radio yesterday morning and heard the National Jewish Outreach Program's ad for Shabbat Across America, I didn't celebrate. I cringed.

We're Jews and part of that means we don't treat our faith like the religious equivalent of a Toyotathon. Our relationship with G-d is a private, personal thing. And just like any other personal relationship, we don't go around broadcasting it to millions of people, inviting them to join in.

And we certainly don't write a motherf***ing theme song about it.

Oh, those meshuggenah... Jews?!

Profile: Lenny Bruce

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=493

Reader Grant from Maryland writes... "I think the comedians section is sorely missing this important name!"

And no, he wasn't talking about Pauly Shore.

Weird Search: March 6

Eminem.

Not a Jew.

What, The Beastie Boys are not enough?

Profile: Rhea Perlman

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=492

Ted Danson, Woody Harrelson, Kirstie Alley, Shelley Long, George Wendt, Kelsey Grammer, Nicholas Colasanto (Coach), and even John Ratzenberger are all not Jews.

Bebe Neuwirth (she played Frasier's wife Lilith), however, is, and will probably be profiled at some point.

Weird Search: March 5

Dave Chappelle.

Not a Jew.

Jews don't go AWOL when they have emotional breakdowns. In fact, we don't have emotional breakdowns. We hold it in, and in, and in, until one day...