Monday, December 12, 2011

Update: G-Dammed, stupid-ass, cheater ruins everything

Well, how's that for prescience, huh? Yeah, I'd rather have been wrong. Dammit.

For those vacationing under a rock this past weekend, the Hebrew Hammer, the baseball messiah, the great (half-)kosher hope of Jewish baseball fans everywhere, Ryan Braun, was suspended for a positive PED test over the weekend. He will miss 50 games of the upcoming season after an unnamed, banned substance was found in his system.

Braun is appealing the suspension, claiming mystical fairies spiked his blood. We will await the results of Braun's appeal to a higher power before updating his profile.


  1. Yeah, I was wondering when you'd blog this. I have to say though, I never had a lot of "Jewish pride" in him thanks to his anti-Semitic (despite marrying a Jew) mother.

  2. I've taken to calling him the Hebrew Hypodermic. Sigh. I did take a lot of pride in him, and this hurts.