Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Settling the Score: Tony Kornheiser

My favorite feature of our little wander through the Internet desert is the Jew Score. When we started, of course, it wasn't really clear how the whole thing would work in practice (setting Mel Brooks as the high at 15 helped, of course). 400-odd profiles later and we have a pretty good idea of who ought to be scored what. It's almost rote by now. But sometimes we have a debate about a score - either one that has been posted or one that will be. When that happens, this post happens. So let's go ahead and Settle the Score:

I was watching Monday Night Football last night, which brought to mind our old friend Tony Kornheiser. As you might recall, we liked Tony a lot on PTI, but once he migrated to MNF our love for him went AWOL.

His profile went up a few months ago and at the time we scored him a 12. But now I feel like that's a little high. A 12 isn't an amazing score, but it's still rarified air. The first Jewish Governor, an Olympic medalist, the General Manager of the Boston Red Sox and Tony Kornheiser? Nah.

Ding him just one point down to 11 and we have Art Garfunkel, Shep Messing and Alicia Silverstone. Now that sounds more like it. So we go into Kornheiser's profile, drop one score and it's all set. Except where do we drop. Inner score is already a 4 and that can't go to a 3 because we know he's a full-blooded Jew. O score is a 5 which is high, but hard to argue. The man looks, acts, and talks like a fellow Jew. So that's a no go. And any lower on the K score seems to betray the fact that once, a long time ago on a network far far away, we really did like the guy.

Oh well. After all that the score stays. For now, anyway. But it still bothers me....


  1. I don't know if you can use Theo Epstein as the prime example for a quality 12. So he is the GM of the Red Sox. Big deal. Now, Larry King...

  2. Yeah - 2 World Series, widely considered one of the smartest men in baseball, listed as one of Boston's most eligible bachelors. What a loser...

  3. One of Boston's most eligible bachelors? We're using that as a barometer? What's next, glowing reviews of the New Kids on the Block?